I found a lovely support site to help people who lost a pet. Here is the link:



I posted about Bunnicula here:
Bunnicula's listing

I read the petloss.com page often. I reread my posting about Bunny and read other people's coping methods. I wish I didn't need to find this site. I wish Mister Bunny were still with me, keeping me company while I read, chirping at me when I change the water bowl, and occasionally peeing on my belongings. :) I sometimes wonder how I will get through the day but I seem to every time. The person who helps me get through every difficult moment has been and will always be my wonderful mom. To help me cope and make me think, mom has said many wonderful things that fit perfectly with the moment it was said and provided me with love and comfort. I would like to share some of these:
She is right, of course, on all accounts. She reminds me that I did everything I could and did everything I thought was right at the time. I am really lucky that I have such a wonderful mom.

I punished (and still punish) myself because I called Animal 911 instead of just leaving, because I didn't remember the faster more direct route to the clinic, and because I thought it was an insulin crash so I wasted time by putting a little honey on his lips. I wasted time getting a towel for him, I wanted him warm and comfortable with a familiar item. I wasted time thinking about bringing a book because when my diabetics have a crash I am at Animal 911 for the rest of the night. I punish myself because I didn't realize that his crying on and off was the beginning of the end. He had been making loud sounds for a couple weeks (or maybe longer) before he left me forever. He made them when he wanted the water changed or when I was changing it. He started making those same sounds over the course of the evening until the last time when the cries turned into howls. I punish myself because I wonder what I did wrong. Why didn't I notice the changes in him like losing some weight. That fateful night I thought it was just an insulin crash until the very end. At the clinic, when he was already gone, I held him and held him and told him I love him. I sang his song to him for the very last time. I kissed him on his little old man head and behind his little old man ears and I petted his old man fur. I said the Lord's prayer and I asked God that he be with grandma and Scrappy.

I know in my head I did everything right, I am just waiting for my heart to accept it. I took him into the vet 6 days before he died to make sure he was fine and to give him a bath because he stopped cleaning himself. They didn't dry him off because he was scared of the dryer but it was warm out so they said it was ok to take him. His glucose levels were normal and the insulin was at the right level and doing its job. He quietly lay on the passenger side's floor to the vet's and back. I would talk to him a little but he was always so mellow that he didn't need to be calmed down. I would just ask him how he was doing and giving him an update on how close we were to our destination.

It feels like I don't believe in any higher power, but I desperately need to believe. I *need* to believe that I will see my Prince Mister Bunny again and Scrappy, my grandparents, Rover, Nutmeg, Dukey and all the hamsters and guinea pigs we had as children (and as adults as well). :)

I found a sad/happy story on the petloss.com site and I really hope it's a real story. It's about a little girl who loses her kittens in a fire but eventually she sees them again. The story itself is so tragic that it almost seems not real. Well I really want to believe that she sees her kittens again so I will believe it's real.
Della's story